My sin is loving you
by marurivil
Summary: Ron and Hermione have another opportunity to love but they are married to other persons, they took the opportunity without much thought but now it's the time to accept the consequences of your acts. (Be easy with me and my grammar because English is not m
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter's characters.

**My Sin is Loving you**

1° Chapter: To be near you, smell like danger

Dear Ron:

I don't know how to start, I know that I should doing this face to face not through a letter, but I also know that I could not doing it if I have to stand in front of you and have to look at your eyes and feel your arms around me and hear your voice telling me that we can win this battle, although both of us know that this battle is already lost, so I have to do it by this weak way.

First of all, I want to thank you for everything you did, do and I know if I ask you, will do for me. I don't know how to pay you, I just try to pay you by loving you in the same way you love me and sometimes loving you more, I just hope that this was enough and if it is not send me the invoice and I'll try to pay you later.

Do you remember how all this started? People say never play with marked cards because you can loose everything, and that's exactly what happened to us, we played with marked cards and we lost our hearts, our souls, our love, in few word we lost the most important things, we lost each other.

Fate has an estrange way of working, you know? it gives you too much happiness, that you believe you are living in a dream, then without a sign it takes away everything you live for, leaving you hopeless and lifeless but then, again it gives you other reason to live other kind of love, a love you also cannot live without, a love you are prepared to give up everything for it, a different love but with the same intensity.

I hope you remember the night that brought us together as I do, although it started a year ago, I remember every little detail. That night I didn't want to go to our famous Friend's Tuesdays nights, although it was just the three of us, no husband or wives, I did not want to listen all the happiness and love you and Harry have. During these eight years, since we graduated from Howarts, we have had this tradition and I have always been excited to spend time with my two best friends but this night was different, I was so sad, my life with Richard has become a nightmare. Everyone think that Richard was the perfect husband but they cannot be more wrong.

At the beginning I also thought he was perfect, now I can assure that the phrase "love is blind" is so true, but given it a second thought and after what I lived with you, I know that I never loved Richard, I think I was just impressed with him, He is handsome, intelligent, cultured, rich, excellent worker and everything a woman can ask but unfortunately when a person doesn't have a good heart the beauty becomes arrogance, the intelligence and culture, superiority and being an excellent worker is being a workaholic. During my three years of marriage I learned to deal with him because I thought I loved him, but everything has a cycle and ours had begun to end.

That night When Richard arrived home I was so sad, another again my hopes fall down, the thing I desire the most was the one I could not have, a baby. When Richard came to the room I was crying I didn't understand why can't I have a baby if both of us are healthy and don't have any problem to conceive. He seated in the bed near me and said: "Hermione, dear you should not be like this, look at you, you look so bad. I have told you thousands of times, we are not ready to have a baby, we are so happy just you and me, no one who affected our lifestyle and tried to steal you from me, when are you going to understand and give up with the idea of the baby, you know I'm always right even the nature knows I am right, that's why we don't have babies, so take a shower, wear a beautiful dress, have a good time with you friends and presume how happy we are and wear the expensive necklace I bought you, now I am going to work a little bite more and see you when you are back". he kiss me and left the room. When he left the room I began to understand that I have made a huge mistake by marrying him, he was so insensitive, so selfish. I didn't say anything to him, just did what I was told. While I was taking my shower, I just felt so unloved, so sad, so alone.

I decided not to ruin the night, so I tried to smile and to have a good night. When I arrived, only was you at the table, you look so handsome but at the same time so sad. You greeted me with a hug and a kiss on my cheek and I felt a little better. After a few minutes a letter from Harry arrived to tell us, he couldn't make it, his children were sick and he prefers to stay at home with Gabrielle to take care of them. So, that night was just the two of us and the comment you said after you bend the letter: "I have to confess that I am envious of Harry's life again"

At first I did not understand why you were envious of Harry's life, I thought that may be it was another of your jokes, because I believed you had a great life, you have accomplished you dream of being one of the best and most famous players of the Chudley Cannons, You have a great big family, You are married to a very pretty woman. " I think I am the one who should be envious of Susan, not you of Harry, you have all you have wanted" I tried to joke so we can calm the mood.

You looked straightly to my eyes, took my hand and said "We have been friends, best friends actually, since 13 years ago so I can't lie to you, my life with Susan it's a nightmare. At the beginning I thought she was perfect but I could not be more wrong, she lives to make exercise, her problems are How do I look? Do I look fat?, Do you think I should were boots or high heels? Are you going to eat all this food? What do you think if we buy a bigger house? She is turning me crazy, you know? Why are we going to need a damn bigger house, when she doesn't eve want children. You said I have everything I wanted but now that I have those things I'm not happy, I want more than a beautiful wife and money, I want children playing in the garden, a wife who loves me and who does not think of me only as a provider, I don't want to feel so alone, after you said all these, you looked straight to my eyes and said: "I have already confessed now is your turn" " I don't have nothing to confess" I tried to sound unaffected "oh come on "Mione" you cannot play the fool with me, if you have nothing why your eyes look like you were crying a lot?". .

And after you said that I began to feel noticed, to feel important, to feel loved, feel that someone was worry about me, about my feelings, I couldn't take any more and I just started to cry and told you everything, my life with Richard, my fear of never have a baby. You hugged me and for the moment I was in your arms, I felt live again, I felt a woman, a loved, happy and beautiful woman. In that moment and even today your arms were the perfect place to live.

We stay in each other arms a little more, then you looked straight to my eyes and you did what I was longing for, you kiss me with passion, with desire, with love, with a feeling I have never known, with this emotion that only the one who loves you with all his heart can transmit you. I kissed you in the same way, to make you feel the way you had made me feel. If we had wanted we could blame the alcohol we drank or the vulnerability of the moment, but all I could say in my favor was that since we were 11 I wanted to kiss you and since we were 11 I have love you with all my heart but until that night I have the courage to confront myself and no to listen the reason but listen my heart. My reason said that this would never going to work, you are married, I am married and that we could ruin everything but most important our friendship, but my heart said to take the chance, to take advantage of this opportunity, to bet my heart in this game of love. And this time the reason was right we ruined everything, our friendship, our hearts and our souls.


	2. “If you look at me, you will know I love...

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter's characters.

**My Sin is Loving you**

2° Chapter: "If you look at me, you will know I love you"

I am trying to put every little detail, every thing we lived, every feeling, in the best way, in a way you feel you are reading my mind and not this letter, because I want you to remember everything. A log time a go I read in a book that if you want to remember a thing you have to describe it as if you were describing it to a blind person, so I am doing this to both of us, for you to have this letter and can read it every time you want and for me to never forget.

I was proud of myself because I think I was intelligent not like those who suffer of love but now I don't know where all my intelligence went, because look at me I am dying of love and I can't understand if you are not the one for me why can't I just let you go?, if our love is a mistake why life put us together?, if it is so wrong why it feels so good?.

After that night, I arrived home with a new light, illusions can be the best make up a woman could ask for and this illusion had done wonders with me. Neither you and neither do I discussed what had happened, although it's our custom to argue of everything, that night we both learn to speak with our eyes instead with our mouths. I didn't know what was going to happen but to me the most important had happened, you kissed me and you said "I love you" and I just kissed you back and said "I love you too" but I can assure you that you already knew it.

The next morning I arrived at work at the editorial in a way a long time ago I didn't do, with a smile in my face.. When I entered my office I found 24 roses and a note: "These roses represent the hours I am going to think about you and I if you feel alone remember that someone loves you. With all my love R" and after reading this I had a bigger smile. That day you just not gave me roses you gave me butterflies in my stomach, smiles in my face and a reason to love.

After that, we began a new tradition, we had our night, just the two of us, our "Monday's Night". It was the best day for us because you don't have quiditch practice and you could tell Susan you have it and Richard prepared all the work for the rest of the week and he spend a lot of time at the Minister, so we could take our time to enjoy every minute, every second of each other company.

Do you remember how our encounters were? At the beginning they were innocent, just lunch, conversation and kisses, but one day our love needed more, needed to be total, we needed just to be one person. The clothes began to obstruct us, and our skins asked for each other and we gave in to the desire, although I was naked, I didn't feel that way because I felt covered by love. Since that day all my heart, body and soul belong to you.

Our meetings were at the muggle London, we needed a place where nobody knew us and didn't care about us, a place where there was no need to be hidden, where we could be just a normal couple, where our love didn't need to be secret, a place where we could hold hands and kiss each other, a place where we could escape of our reality and dreamed with a different life.

When we were with other people we acted as good friends, but we tried not to look at each other because sometimes the looks said more than words. I remember a reunion at Harry and Gabrielle's house, I came early because you know how crazy Richard can be about the punctuality, when you entered the house with Susan, I have to confess that I was jealous. I have never been jealous of Richard although he is handsome and many women are at his feet I didn't feel jealous not even a 10 of what I felt with you, my heart was beating so hard that I could hardly hear what Gabrielle and Richard were talking about. I tried to act naturally and tried to be nice to Susan but within my heart there was jut envy, she has you for complete time and I just a day per week, she can kiss you whenever she wants and in front of any body and I just can kiss you in hidden places when nobody can saw us, for you, Susan is your wife, for you I am the other, the love hidden, the one you cannot introduce as the one you love, for the world she is Mrs. Weasley, and for the world I am Mrs. Blair

Life doesn't give you everything, you have to choose and I chose following my heart. Since the beginning I knew the rules of the game, I knew the part I would play in your life and it didn't care because I prefer ten minutes with you than a complete life without you.

Till next chapter

**pink-angels2k4: **Sorry about the couple but I'm very happy you like the story and even it is not a H/HG you read it, thank you .

**ThinkingOfaName: **You are so sweet, you made my day, thank you for your words. It'll be two more chapters. Thank you again.

**TheGossipQueen: **I am so sorry because of my mistakes of spelling and grammar, I tried to do my best but sometimes i guess is not enough but I promise I'll try to improve. I hope this chapter would be easier to read and understand. Thank you


	3. When the dream turned into a nightmare

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter's characters.

**My Sin is Loving you**

3° Chapter: "When the dream turns into a nightmare."

I specially remember a Monday, when we were lying in the bed and you were holding me and you said: "I could spend all my life with you in my arms. You are the first thing I think when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. You have changed my life. Sometimes I think I am living in a dream because I have never felt this kind of love, You are my sun and my moon, the blood in my veins. With you by my side, I don't know what fear, sadness, loneliness and impossible mean. With you my world has no end. I have been thinking about us and I believe is time to be together, Are you ready to defeat all the obstacles and fears that separate us? I just looked at you with tears in my eyes and kiss you with every piece of my heart and without words you understood that I was ready.

After that night, we began to investigate a way to get our divorces in the best way possible. But although I spend all the day, thinking in a way I could convince Richard to accept the divorce and both of us go to present the documents, which is the only way the Magic Law accept to carry on the divorces, I could not think in any good reason and to tell the truth never was an option.

I remember that Friday, I sent you a note to meet me at our table in the same restaurant, I wanted to see you and hold you and I didn't care if it was not Monday, I just wanted to be with you. I also explain in the note that I had an appointment with the Doctor at 12:00 and after that I was free to have lunch with you.

It was time to leave and I didn't have yet an answer about the lunch. I was really sad, lot of thoughts came to my head to make my life more difficult but when I opened my office's door, you were there smiling and the peace return to my body. You explain that you have time to go with me to see the Doctor and then take lunch.

When we were waiting for the Doctor, you began to question me, Why are you seeing a Muggle Doctor? and What's wrong with you? You look very healthy and beautiful to me and you give a kiss. I really had to answer and I didn't know how. I took your hand and told you the truth, " I can go to see our healers because if what I think I have is true, we could be in the eyes and mouths of everyone and you being a celebrity player are used to this but I don't want to try. And the answer to your other question is, well here I go, I thing I am pregnant. I waited to see your reaction but you just look at me with a smile in your face, then took my hand and kissed it, then you kissed my mouth, you looked straight to my eyes and told me "I am the happiest man in the world" and in that moment I was the happiest woman in the world too.

After the doctor had confirmed my suspicions, we went to take our lunch. I could not stop talking about the baby, names, books for the baby. We began to plan our future, our family, we were so happy. You kissed me again and when the kissed ended, a tall, blonde woman, said: "Ron, Hermione do you remember me?" by the way we looked at her, she notice we didn't, "of course you don't, I am Kate, Susan's Cousin, we met at the wedding" and you and I staid speechless but she took sit and continued "I was in this table near of you and I am sorry but I listened your conversation, I didn't know you and Susan are not together anymore, I have to call her. I am so sorry, you are celebrating and I am interrupting. Nice to see you both of you and by the way congratulations for the baby" and she left. I can not believe what happened, life was playing with us, what seemed to be the happiest day of our lives would end as the saddest.

I arrived to my house. It was all dark and I felt a little better, It meant that Richard was not home and I didn't want to deal with him in that moment, when I felt that everything I wanted had began to fall in pieces.

When Susan came at my house, seemed like other person, her look was lost in anger, she looked like a crazy and she began to say me a lot of names that I am not going to mention for respect to myself and to be honest with you because those names hurt me in a deep way. But the names were not the only thing she came to say, she began to accuse me of stealing you from her, that I was trying to break up her marriage, that I was the reason you don't love her any more, that I just wanted to get your money and the benefits of being with you. I just let her finished but I had to say something in my favor, I had to let her know that I have not stolen nothing from her, I cannot steal something that didn't belong to her, I didn't break her marriage, when I came to your life it was already broken. You had a sadness and loveless life that she was the responsible of, not me. That she was not a victim and I was not the bad of the story. The only thing I could be blame of was making you the most important person in my life, was making your arms the only ones I can be held, making your lips the only ones I want to kiss and making your skin the only one I want to feel, in few words my only sin was loving you.

She was at the middle of the door when she said "I promise you, Hermione, I am going to do everything what is my hand to regain what is mine, you had won the battle but not the war. I don't let go Ron so easy, I am going to fight, and be careful because I am not indulgent with my enemies" and she slam the door.

Susan was right this was our war but we were fighting for different reasons. She didn't want to quit to this easy life full of benefits and none responsibility, she wanted to be in every cover of a magazine to be introduce as your beautiful wife, to attend to all this dinners and parties where all the important and famous wizards and witches appeared, to be treated as a celebrity just because she is your wife. My reasons were totally different, I couldn't lose you because this would not just mean losing you, it would be losing my heart and soul, my hopes and my dreams of being with you and being a real family, my reasons were not selfish because I was not just thinking in me I was thinking also in the baby, in our baby.

As soon as Susan left, Richard opened the door of the studio and said: "You always thought se was a little stupid but this time she was more intelligent than you. She came to see me first and asked me for help and I cannot say no to the wife of my wife' best friend. We had a nice talk and as the good persons we are, we understand you so you have to understand us. Sometime ago you told me that life doesn't give you everything and you have to choose. Now its your time to choose and these are your options: FIRST you can leave and go with Ron, but I know how much you care about the Weasleys, and it would be such a pain that because of you, something happened to them. Just think for a moment Charlie and Bill, never return to home, No one knows anything, they just disappeared they could be dead but they can be closed in a place they didn't know because they don't have any memory. For Fred and George, I don't thing they have so bad luck, but unfortunately their stores will be put on fire and everything they have would be lost. For Ginny, poor Ginny, she will have to deal with the rumors of being the one who tried to kill his husband, just to take advantage of the Malfoy's money. When you say a lie 10 times it became true and you know the character of that Family they are going to do anything to destroy her. For Percy don't worry, he works for me and I know his a loyal worker, so I can leave him alone. But I was forgetting the principal, the one who causes everything, for him, being such a good quidditch player, no one will contract him, and both of you will have to live with the anguish that someone has taken you baby away, poor of you this is going to kill you in a slow and painful way as you deserve. Poor Molly and Arthur, they are going through much suffer.

I could not believe what he was saying, "You cannot dare to do such things, They are people, no toys you can move as you want". I jelled at him, he just smiled and then said: "prove me. You know me and you know I am not going to do this by myself, obviously, but people for money and power can do anything you ask them".

I was in his hands and he knew it. "but you have other option" he continued. "You can go to break up with him, then we can left London and go to live in Italy, I can pretend this baby is mine and you always know that no one can take him away of your side and the Weasleys can be safe. What do you think? I know you are an intelligent witch and you are going to take the best choice, and as soon as he finished he left.

I staid there, crying and thinking that our war is lost even before it starts. I began to think how works in estrange ways and when you feel that nothing can't stop you and that you are so strong and intelligent to win any battle, without a notice, life hit you with so intensity that you realize you are not invincible and so intelligent and so strong as you thought you were. You have to accept your defeat and go on as if nothing had happened, you have to smile although your are death inside.

**ThinkingOfaName: **Thank you for your words, you are an angel. I hope you enjoy this chapter

**Kristi: **Thank you so much, you are very sweet with me I hope you enjoy this chapter


	4. Where destiny takes you

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter's characters.

**My Sin is Loving you**

4° Chapter: "Where the destiny takes you."

Yesterday was our last encounter and our opportunity to say goodbye face to face but you didn't want to accept this and I, who already had accepted it, didn't have the courage to do it.

You were sure that life could not leave us like this, unfinished. You began to say all the things we could do, like run away, to change identities, live hidden but neither you and neither do I deserve that kind of life, to lived hidden as if we had killed someone. I thought in Sirius and what he had lived and I didn't want that for us or the baby. Richard was very clear about never leave us to be together and that if it is necessary, he would be going to follow us till the end of the world to make our lives and the lives of the ones we love miserable.

Our destiny was written and we have to accept it, we have to pay our duties and confront our acts. I began to expose why we can not be together. I hadn't finished my speech, which I believe was more to convince me than convince you, when suddenly you put your finger on my mouth and ask me to stay quiet for a moment, and to touch you gently and hold you tightly as I have never done and to give you a kiss, the deepest one. Then you looked straight to me, like you were memorizing every inch of me and you kiss me again. I think, maybe that was your way of telling me goodbye.

When I closed the door of the rented house, which had been our only witness, our sacred place, our protection of the outside world, our home, I felt that the house was not the only thing I had closed, I closed my hopes to try, my strength to continue and my faith to believe, in few words I had closed myself to love.

You are still hopeful, you are still waiting for a miracle but I have already made my mind. I can't let you fall, I can't let Richard destroy you or your family, as he had promised me to do it, but above everything, I can't let him hurt our baby because I already love him with such intensity that I could give my life to protect him, and I prefer that he has only one of his parents at his side that he hasn't anything. He is a gift from life and we have to take care of it although we are not together. He chose us as his parents and we could not fail him.

Life is a bad joke you know? because our baby is the only good reason I had to say goodbye to you and he is the bond who is going to join our lives forever.

Richard told me this morning that tomorrow we are leaving for Italy, to begin a new life, a life without you. I don't know why but I have the feeling that the baby is going to be a boy and I know that every time I look at his eyes, I would be like looking at yours, and every time he smiles it would be like seeing you smile, so for Richard's sorrow, this new life will not be completely without you.

I know that the time to say goodbye has come but I don't know how to do it. How do you say goodbye to the person you love? How can I say goodbye to you, my best friend, the one who always held my hand when I was afraid, the one who always knows what I am thinking although I don't say anything, the one who knows all my defects and still look at me as if I am perfect. How can I say goodbye without feeling I am dying inside?

Finally, I understand that saying goodbye would not finish with our love. A goodbye would not change into fantasy what was so real. I also understood that although we are not together doesn't mean you will not be near me because I can feel you in the air that touches my skin, because I can see you every time I close my eyes, because you will always be in my blood, in my soul, in my heart, in my mind, in every part of me.

5 years ago a wise woman told me that the woman who waits for the correct man to her, that man will never stop until he find her. Now I know that you are the correct man for me, and I am going to wait until you find me again, maybe in this life, maybe in another but you can be sure I would never be tired of waiting.

For now, I am going to keep my feelings and I am going to say goodbye, until the destiny wants to give us another chance and that day I am going to love you as the first time. That day I am going to give you back what always has been yours, my heart, my body and my soul.

With all the love in the world,

Hermione

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**Kristi and ThinkingOfaName**: Sorry for taking so much time in up dating. This is the last chapter and I really hope you enjoy it. I don't know how to thank you for being so kind with me and for taking your time to read this, I know I am in debt with you but I just don't know how to pay you, if you know how let me know. I hope this would not be the last time I hear from you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.


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